Growing up in the sweltering hot and dry summers of Las Vegas, I was perfectly contented with the blessed relief of my family’s backyard pool. This contentment lasted for 24 years. Then I moved to Tamarindo, in an apartment with a walk less than 2 minutes away from the beach.
I’m now ruined, mis amigos, forever! A concrete backyard pool shall never again suffice. Living next to the natural, enormous, beautiful (not to mention – FREE) wonder that is the Pacific Ocean has ruined me for all of time.
If you too lived next to the beach, it would ruin your life forever. Here are 10 reasons why:
You will forget how to tie your shoes.
Shoes? What are those things? Other than little pieces of rubber that flip and flop when you walk in them, beach-dwellers don’t wear shoes. Come to think of it, they also rarely wear clothes for that matter.
You won’t be able tell the time with anything other than the sun.
What is 9am or 11:22am? Is there such a thing as 4:30 pm? I don’t know! All I know now is:
- The sun has risen; I should get out of bed eventually and head to the water.
- The sun is at mid point; it must be time for lunch by the water.
- The sun has set; let’s go to happy hour by the water.
You believe drinks with umbrellas are acceptable any time of day (who even NEEDS it be 5 o’clock somewhere?!).
Vacationers drink on the beach because they’re on vacation. Locals drink at the beach because they still think they are on vacation too. Even if it’s a Tuesday at 11 am (but remember they won’t know it’s only 11am, because they don’t ever know the exact time).
You will never want to join a gym when you could swim or surf instead.
Paying an institution to allow you to run on a treadmill that goes nowhere vs. swimming in the ocean for free surrounded by glorious sand and trees. You decide.
You won’t get to scrape snow off your car anymore.
This hardship speaks for itself. We all know how much fun people have waking up 30 minutes early to start their car, shovel a path, and scrape ice off a windshield in subzero temps. You really miss that when you’re sunbathing in warm sand and listening to crashing waves.
You will never again want to pay for amazing views.
Wait. People actually pay to see beautiful things in other parts of the world? A stroll down to the beach at sunset never gets old, and it never costs more than a cheap beer or happy hour mojito.
You forget how to rush or be busy.
This is a real problem, folks. In a world where the #1 way to brag is to talk about how busy you are, you will feel very left out when you can only tell people that you slow down and really enjoy life.
You forget what being bored feels like.
Even though you may not rush around anymore, you always have something to do. Want to kill 15 minutes? You go to the beach. Want to take a hot girl on a date? You go to the beach. You don’t even know what the heck you feel like doing? You go to the beach.
You feel like sunsets anywhere else are a rip off.
When you see the sun set along the ocean line every single night, you start feeling a little sad when you think about only seeing it set behind your city home’s tall cement brick fence. Call me crazy, but cement just doesn’t have the same charm as the Pacific Ocean.
You never want to live anywhere else.
Sure, the beach can be annoying. Like every time your wet feet step out of the shower, they’ll instantly manage to find sand on the floor. But you cannot deny that no other place is as wonderful as the beach. The ability to be there in a few short minutes? Priceless.
Good luck at ever going back to normal!
Written by Taylor Duvall
Taylor DuVall is a blogger and freelance writer/editor. She is passionate about womanhood, creativity, travel, spirituality, and living the good life. She went back to college and majored in English even though people told her it was impractical. It was the best move she made. Taylor is a Las Vegas native with a wanderer’s heart. You’ll find her practicing yoga, strumming the guitar, reading late into the night, and consuming a sinful amount of chocolate in different countries around the world.